Web Synergy! Zounds!

Okay, it's not like I'm contractually obligated or anything, but this is my personal artist's website.  Got that?  Let me spell it out.

http://www.andykluthe.com

It has arts and arts accessories.  But mostly just arts.

He's the jackass who draws my comics (note:  my comics are only awesome because of me) but apparently some things I signed says I have to give him credit.  What next?  Money?

Hang on, apparently I owe him that too.

So go visit Andy's art site!  Look at his art stuff!  Give him money to make you art stuff!

Two heads are better than one (with the exception of when you're a conjoined snake, because then your two heads fight until food ends up in your windpipe) I'm linking to his site.  My Google hits become his Google hits.  His Google hits become my Google hits.  I mean, I've totally got more Google hits than I know what to do with -- but more can never hurt, right?

...Yeah.

...Lots of Google hits.

Boobquake: Unintentional Success?

As you may know, I'm very approving of boobs.  I am also very approving of SCIENCE.  So as you can imagine, when I was told boobs and SCIENCE could be combined I put a big ol' stamp-of-approval on it.

What is Boobquake, you ask?  Stop living under a rock, I respond.

But seriously, Kazem Sedighi (an Iranian cleric) was quoted as saying "women who do not dress modestly, lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes."

Generally speak, I don't think jiggling fun bags create earthquakes.  I think shifting tectonic plates cause earthquakes.  Subterranean molemen probably cause earthquakes.  And destabilizing the Earth's magnetic core?  That'd definitely cause earthquakes.

Thankfully, Jen McCreight was on the case.  (By the way, Ms. McCreight, any chick using her breasts for the forces of SCIENCE gets an A+ on The Hunter I's Scale of Awesomeness People Award I Totally Didn't Just Make Up™.  Please redeem your award immediately).  She proposed that we test Kazem's controversial theory by having women everywhere dress scantily in an attempt to trigger an earthquake in a little event she called Boobquake.

And the results are in -- there was no earthquake.  So what does this mean for Kazem?

That suckah was wrong!  Clearly.

But it also means...women showing off their goods prevents earthquakes.  And it's now backed quite heavily by this research!  So women everywhere, the Earth needs you to continue protecting it!  We don't need another wide-scale disaster to blame on the government; it could all be prevented if we all pitch in our boobs.

Note: due to his lack of female body parts The Hunter I cannot partake in any of these activities.  He regrets this, but will kindly volunteer to oversee the project if the government picks up on anything written on this blog.

Hunter I News Update

Hey true believers, I've got a Hunter I news update for you all! Well, not everyone. Particularly those that watch Facebook.

So what's more exciting than a 24 oz. Big Gulp full of Awesome Sauce? Oh, right, more Hunter I...in print!

For too long has mankind been bound to computers whilest reading about me. I'm sure you've all read my small print publication wildly successful The Hunter I's Field Guide to the World You Don't Know. Well untether yourself from that Intertube-window, people, 'cause coming sometime soon (but at an otherwise entirely too vague date):

The Hunter I Adventures! 100% more adventurey than before, The Hunter I Adventures brings you the neuron-shredding, unfiltered adventure the editors didn't want you to see...but now they have no choice (no, seriously, I held them at gun point -- I hope you're happy)! And it's brought to you in 24 pages of full-color beauty. Did I say 24? I meant 12. And by full color I really meant black 'n white. Hope appropriately dashed? Well here's that ice cream cone I'm giving you to make up for missing your soccer game.

Four -- yes, four -- new pages of The Hunter I's Field Guide to the World You Don't Know! You'll be identifiying all new monsters in no time! I guarantee!*

*I do not actually guarantee the identification of any monsters.

But wait! There's more!

"More?!" you groan in a semi-enthused manner, "How could there possibly be any more? Surely you're scraping the bottom of the barrel!" Well, I am. I'm scraping hard. But sometimes them barrel-scrapings are the best! You'll also get...aaaaads! Because I'm a sell out! But don't worry, sometimes ads are half the fun!* These are fantastically special ads from the kind folks at Junk Co., offering things you probably don't need but you probably will definitely want.

*The Hunter I doesn't guarantee the ads are half the fun, but damn it, you're gonna enjoy them.

And a letter page! That's right! Questions for your's truely! Send a post marked e-message to your buddy The Hunter I at the.hunter.i.blog AT gmail.com! Ask me anything! Just don't forget your return e-envelope that I can stuff with various trinkets, such as comic clippings, bits of hair, or the ever-popular autographed photo made out to eBay. (eBay is potentially my biggest fan)

If you don't got any of that fancy electronic mail (Hotmail, Gmail, Yahoo...just saying, it's not a hard concept) and you're particularly close to me, send me a message on them Facebooks.

The Hunter I presents...

First...there was Xanga.

Then...there was MySpace.

...Followed by Facebook.

And then Twitter, but hey! I never used that.

Now, The Hunter I boldly...steps sidewise...and backwords...to Blogger!

Yes, that's right, loyal readers, I have started a new blog. And by started a new blog I mean copied all the old content and added this post. MySpace was holding me back -- why should you have to be my friend to gain access to my forbidden knowledge? It should be readily available on a blog. Or a fruit tree. And while Facebook is great (don't forget to friend Irving Hunter, kids!), I can't blog there. And don't even get me started on Twitter. "The Hunter I is choking a frog man", "The Hunter I is skinning a frog man", "The hunter I is removing the fatty tissue form the corpse of a frog man", "The Hunter I is explaining to a police officer what he's doing with most of the meat froma frogman", "The Hunter I is running through the woods" -- is that really what you want to read? Don't answers that. I know the answer is a firm, self-assuring "no".

So what can you expect to see here?

Insight on the unknown.

Facts about general conjecture!

Absolute truths about conspiracies!

And, of course, me being pure, unfiltered awesome.

Because there's still a lot about the world you don't know, and I'm more than willing to bring it to ya. In the mean time, sit back and read up. In addition to new posts, I'll also be updating this page to make it feel a little more...homey. And no, I don't mean that the way black people use it.

Want to meet The Hunter I? Let's do this thing!

Do you have dreams of meeting The Hunter I? Well unless you're a buxom lady, he has no interest in meeting you.

But now is your chance!

Due to a contractual publishing agreement, The Hunter I will be attending a book signing for his book, The Hunter I's Fieldguide to the World You Don't Know!

Where: SCAD Student Center
When: Saturday - February 28th, 2009
Time: Noon to 6:00
Why: They're making me.

My publisher and I will be selling merchandise and signing books. I hope to find a way out see you there!

The Big Bang - New Theory from Wired

Okay, so I was reading this article in Wired (yes, I occasionally will occasinally give a shout out to you...ahem...mom-n-pop news sources....gotta help the little guy) the other day, when I came across this news article. It's all about the Big Bang.

Apparently some dude is applying string theory to the Big Bang and came up with the genius idea that it just loops in a cycle -- one lump bangs into a Universe, then collapses and repeats. I'm reading this wondering...why the Hell is it news? Haven't we all been taught this theory since...like...forever? Well, okay, not you Huckabee. I know you're still struggling with basic evolution, but at least we've now seen a guy who plugs his ears and goes "na-na-na-na-na!" to the entire basis of speciaction and genetic science can still manage to go places. Good for you!

Okay, so string theory. He used string theory. Which is basically Linux for theories. It's the one that does all kinds of things differently and people secretly like but don't really have a reason to use outside of their little world...because no one else is using it.
It's not even that he received condemnation from the Catholic church, because they're willing to condemn gay guys...uh...gay guys...and the devil. Actually, that last one is pretty rightfully earned. If you don't hate the devil you suck.

"According to Turok, who teaches at Cambridge University, the Big Bang represents just one stage in an infinitely repeated cycle of universal expansion and contraction. Turok theorizes that neither time nor the universe has a beginning or end."

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Did I read that right? Turok?! And so I read on...

"Turok spoke with Wired.com about the Big Bang, the intellectual benefits of cosmology and his bet with Stephen Hawking."

Yes! Turok! It's freaking Turok and now he's researching String Theory and the orign of the cosmos! He's making bets with Stephen Hawking! How?! Why?! When did this happen?!

He went from:

To:


After looking over his page, I find no mention of Chronosceptors, the Lost Land, bionosaurs, or gratuitous amounts of first person violence -- just legitimate mathematics. What's the deal? Seriously? Go back to your old job, Turok; we need more dinosaur hunters in this world.

Want a REAL question in a REAL comic book?

Ever wanted to have ask The Hunter I a question? Ever wanted to do it on a place that isn't MySpace, the phone, 4 rlz, or in bed? How about in a comic book? Yes a real comic book -- that's so real only bold text can describe its realness!
Well then send me your questions!
I've decided my advice wasn't good enough in the on-the-internet variety, so I'm having a comic book made about me. And I'm going to have a letters page! Because all good comic books should! It's a chance for me to really get in touch with my fans. Also to get in touch with greasy nerds who are too fat to already check the internets.

Ask about your paranormal woes. Ask about me. Ask about if I'll have sex with you (if you're hot) -- it doesn't matter!

So how do you do it? Its easy. Just send a postcard to the address on your screee--send me a message. Yeah, here! And I'll get it and pick the best ones for my reeeaaaaal comic booooook!
Remember, it's not a contest. But I'm only gonna print the best ones.

NOTE: This post is here for archive purposes. I am not currently taking messages unless otherwise states. Thank you for reading.