Attention Lionheart

I don't know who you are, douche-fag, but you can kindly stay off my Myspace, scaring away potential customers. It's people like me who make it safe for everyone (including losers like you) to live in this world.

In the past year I've been working under contract with Group X. You may have heard whispers of them, but they're an independant society (formerly known as Project Prometheus) who's mission is to protect the innocent from paranormal entitities; they're also in charge of establishing laws that cover the endangerment of cryptids and such. Group X saw my amazing hunting prowess and has asked me to work for them on a purely job-by-job basis. It's nice work and I get to meet a lot of nice people.

Then you asshats from the PPA show up. We don't mercilessly hunt paranormal creatures, unless they have valuable pelts, etc. My goal is to keep people safe. All the voluptuous girls who are like "Hunter I! I sensed your sheer awesomeness from over 45 miles away and have come to admire you!" are just a little bonus. And if I have to take out a few dozen chupacabras with a shotgun in the process, so be it.

I hate The Man as much as I sometimes love to work for him. You can't trust the government, because they hide things from us, just like you can't trust the guy at McDonald's to not spit in your food. But that's why I'm here. To leak it all.

So you liberal PPA jerks can kindly get off my internets. You don't understand half of what's going on and are detracting from a service that you benefit from.

FINAL FIVE POINTS:
1. Yeah, I've met the Sasquatch people before. I've also detailed their rich, historic past. Big deal.
2. The Matrix sucked, you poser.
3. Hannah Montana isn't a succubus. She's an AS-20 class android (bipedal, titanium frame, dual Tesla coil generator, likely armed with twin mini railgun-cannons) that was released by the government to engage and control the masses, by benefit of the Disney Corporation. And by 'masses' I mean 'females of the target age group 8-14'. By funding Project Hannah Montana (ironically started in the state of Montana), the Government accepts to "not acknowledge" what remains of Walt Disney.
4. Why not put some pictures up. Or are you scared to sleep at night, next to your life partner Juan, just knowing I exist? Well you can "just friends spoon" all you want, because I'm not going to hunt you. Yet.
5. This site.