Give him back!

I'm sure you clicked this expecting a story of alien abduction or kidnapping by the government. Alas, I wish it were so. Because I'm a vampire hunter and paranormal investigator (I'm for hire, just contact me) I feel I have the right to also inform you about related material. And all I can say is the Shadow Government sure as hell better decide to undo what they've had the WB do to our favorite mystery solving dog.

Now, some of you may be familiar with Scooby. Based on the real historic events of a stoned hippie and his 'talking' (most agree this was due to the...unique...properties of the two's favorite snack) Great Dane, as well as their three friends. You get the idea. They caught one guy in the woods wearing a crappy Halloween mask and soon they're deemed local heros. The next thing you know, Hanna Barbera wants to do a cartoon series. Why don't I have that sort of luck? I actually hunt the paranormal! (I'm for hire, just contact me.)

Now, here's why I'm complaining. Not because of Scrappy Doo. Not because of the recent milking of Scooby Doo. But because of where his new series, "Shaggy and Scooby-Doo Get a Clue!", is going. Read this:

"Shaggy & Scooby-Doo Get a Clue!, 10:00-10:30 am: Ruh-roh! Everybody's favorite quivering sleuths -- Shaggy and his lovable Great Dane, Scooby-Doo -- are back in a new adventure that will anchor the "Too Big For Your TV" programming block. In this comedy from Warner Bros. Animation, Shaggy and Scooby live in the bling'd-out mansion of Shaggy's Uncle Albert, solving mysteries with the help of a transforming Mystery Machine which, at the click of a remote, can morph into one of a number of modes of transportation. New Scooby Snacks infused with a top-secret nano-technology allows our canine hero to fly, become a towering robot or even turn himself into a giant magnet, which comes in handy as Shaggy and Scooby-Doo carry out their new mission: protecting the Scooby Snacks and keeping them safe from those who want them for evil. Shaggy & Scooby-Doo Get a Clue! is executive produced by Sander Schwartz and Joseph Barbera, co-founder of Hanna-Barbera, and produced by Eric Radomski."

Emphasis added by me. Yeah. What the Hell? And here's the source. All I can say is I'm disgusted. Also, did you ever notice that Velma had bigger boobs than Daphne? It's true, go look right now! Anyway, as always, I'm for hire and single. But only C cup or higher, please.